about my granny.

i wanted to take a quick moment to thank any and everyone who happens to follow this tumblr.  i haven’t blogged/journaled personally in a very, very long time, and it’s not easy to be so naked in front of perfect strangers.  this particular project is especially hard, as it involves confronting some pretty uncomfortable feelings and emotions.  but, it helps.  it helps that the words are coming out, and it somehow helps that they’re finding their way to actual humans.  this sort of consciousness raising, even online, even without real names being used, is healing, and i thank you all for helping me heal.  even if there were no one reading this, i’d still write, but it is exceptionally moving that anyone cared enough to click the follow button.  thank you.

also,  need to make some mental notes for myself:

as i notice/become brave enough to acknowledge that my granny’s getting a bit worse, i feel moved to write about her obsessions and compulsions, just to capture them, i guess.  to take as sharp a snapshot as i can.  i’ve been keeping a mental list, and so far it looks like this:

1. coffee
2. hugs/kisses/affection
3. helping/wants
4. the weather
5. jewelry (specifically, people stealing it from her)
6. spontaneous undressing
7. hats

i need to capture these few now, because i feel like i’m watching it grow longer.

also, i need to write about happy/funny times here.  sure, this is a sad thing that is happening, but there are chuckles along the way, and those are every bit as important.  so, i have an uproarious story about a bath that i’ll share here.

i also want/intend to just write here more often.  i don’t because it’s scary, i think, but i will find the balls.  it’s one of my new year’s resolutions.  please hold me to this!